the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
