Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize