y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
