I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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