I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
