just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
