Well apparently he's into motor boating.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
