I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
