so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
