She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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