Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
