a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
