pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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