come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
