8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
