we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
