woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
