2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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