He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
