I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
