I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize