Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
