party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
