I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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