i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
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The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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