like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
