You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
