I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
