I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize