so explain again why im purple
no
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
