I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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