I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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