I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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