Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize