Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
