After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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