she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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