she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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