11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
