I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
there's paper in my vomit.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize