My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I party with great urgency now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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