Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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