I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize