Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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