My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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