And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
