I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize