we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
there is puke in my bra ... again
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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