Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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