my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
