For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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