so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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