Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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