Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
