But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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