Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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